Entries Tagged 'Communication' ↓

Keeping a busy family on track can take the skills of a juggler, the planning of a master strategist and the organization skills of an army supply corps officer. But a simple family communication station can make keeping track of who needs to be where much easier.

A family communication station is the one place where all the information lives. It has information on schedules, shopping lists and events, as well as a place to check and leave phone messages.

Choosing A Location

The communication station should be located in a central place where everyone in the family will see it every day. It is also very helpful to have the station within sight of the main phone so that messages can be left easily, and schedules checked while on the phone.

The kitchen is a good candidate for this. We keep our station on the back of the main door. If you don’t want the information out in plain sight, you can always put it inside a cupboard door.

Putting Together the Station

The Calendar

The main portion of the communication station is the calendar. While some families with older children can use a completely electronic schedule, families with small children or those who don’t live and breathe technology will benefit from a central paper calendar.

The calendar will have a place for each person to record their events and commitments. You will want to select a calendar with lots of room in each box, or perhaps one with a column for each family member. Some people will color code the events for each person, making it easy to see at a glance who has commitments on a given day.

A calendar that runs from September through the following year can be useful for those with school-aged children. That way you can enter dates at the beginning of the school year and not have to think about it at the end of the calendar year.

Each family member, if old enough, should place their commitments on the calendar. I have heard some people tell their older children, “If it’s not on the calendar, it’s not happening.” Meaning no rides, transportation or other support for non-listed events. One missed practice or birthday party and the kids will start keeping up their calendar.

A Place For Documents

Another component to the scheduling aspect of the family center is the place to keep related documents. These would be the lists of dates sent home at the beginning of a sport season, the school calendar, or party invitations. This gives these important papers a place to live, and where you will be able to find them.

My calendar has a pocket at the back to keep these items, but a simple manilla envelope would do as well.

A Cork Board

A cork board, with plenty of push pins, is useful for handling information you need to refer to for a short time. Receipts, party invitations and reading lists live on mine. The cork board is also a good place to leave phone messages, although I cannot speak to that, since my family doesn’t do messages.

A White Board Shopping List

Having a running shopping list where everyone can see it is a good way to keep track of things that need to be purchased…before it becomes a critical matter Ask your family to add things to these lists when they are needed.

Warning: leaving a shopping list out where children can get to it may result in junk food being added to the shopping list in a chance to bypass parental approval.

A List of Commonly-Used Phone Numbers

Even though the most-used phone numbers will be committed to memory (yours or your phone’s), it is still good to have numbers available should you need them. This list of numbers should contain the home phone number, parent’s work phone numbers, school numbers and the numbers of trusted neighbors and friends.

After putting together our family communication station, we stopped forgetting to purchase needed items and our schedules became more manageable. Do you have any way to make family communication easier? Share below!

Recently, we looked at “Why Fear is Your Friend,” and learned that Fear can guide you towards what’s important for you, motivate you to take action to improve your odds, and you give you a rush. This week, we discuss why Sadness is your friend. OK, you probably think that idea is nuts. Who wants to be Sad? Well, OK, I get that, Sadness sometimes feels bad, but I want you to get that like Fear, Sadness can be a good friend.

“All well and good, Master Yoda,” you say, “but how does that work?”

First, Sadness is about losing something you care about, whether that’s a loved one, a job, or a football game…so, Sadness  shows you what you care about (because some people honestly don’t know, and that’s, well, SAD!)  Would you feel Sadness if your girlfriend / boyfriend left? The answer tells you how attached you are to this person. How Sad would you feel if you lost your job? You see where this is going.

Along the same lines, experiencing the Sadness of loss helps us to appreciate what we still have. Losing a loved one, while extremely Sad and painful, can be the kick in the pants we need to mend the fences, reach out, or otherwise make the best of the relationships and opportunities we still have. Funerals are painful and gut-wrenching occasions, and they are great for bringing people back together, burying old conflicts, healing wounds, but it only works if you show up and feel the Sadness and let it bring you together with the others there.  One who can’t bear Sadness will tend to shy away from love, commitment, and real passion, in order to avoid grief, and that’s an empty life.

Similarly, losing a job can help you appreciate that you still have your health. Losing your health can bring loved ones together. Losing money can help you to focus on what really matters to you, your values, your sense of mission, your spirituality.

Lastly, Sadness has authenticity to it. Grieving has a way of slowing you down and bringing you back to the moment. It forces you to let go of your worries about your to-do list and next quarter’s numbers and your fast-paced life and really be with yourself, your feelings and the people around you. This is important today because we can get so lost in our smart phones and emails and plans and lose sight of people, relationships, and dreams.

So, this week’s bottom line is that Sadness  shows you what you care about, Sadness helps us to appreciate what we have, and Sadness requires us to be authentic. This is the kind of friend who can help you to stay grounded and real, to honor what’s important and let go of what’s not, and we all need that kind of friend. 

Life, to me, is all about human connections.

No, it’s not so much about the “professional networking” aspect or building a social media network full of fans and promoters. Even in our increasingly tech-laden world, it’s those pure, totally uninhibited, simply “human” face-to-face connections that mean the absolute most in life.

There’s something so unique and special about the bonds we forge over laughter and smiles, as well as those shared over tears and during moments of adversity when communities unite to overcome sorrow.

However, if you’re more of an “introvert” like me and not a Type-A, extroverted personality, those human connections feel a bit tougher to come by. I’d rather listen that talk, ask questions than rattle off answers. It takes some real courage for me to enter a social setting that I’m unfamiliar with, or especially (gasp!) a social scene where I don’t know anybody else beforehand.

Are you the same way?

No matter the extent of your social skills, introverted personality, or even if you deal with social anxiety in certain situations, I’ve assembled some of the easiest and most effective tips for introverts — provided by introverts, themselves! — from across the web and Twittersphere for you to try out at your next networking event or at the local watering hole this weekend!

1. JUST DO IT!!

“I have to force myself to get out there. It’s hard to do. But I join organizations, talk to business people… Engaging people first through social media has helped make the transition to real life interactions easier: It sets up a wonderful comfort level.” calkundra, on Twitter

Honestly, what would we do without the wisdom of Nike’s infamous catch-phrase? Simply force yourself to step outside of your comfort zones. You can even use social media like Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook to facilitate face-to-face connections in a way that provide an initial level of familiarity and comfort with new people.

Did you know that modern scientific and psychological studies prove that when you interpret difficult, uncomfortable situations as “challenges” and “adventures,” we are better able to cope with stress and anxiety?

Get creative and push yourself to extend your boundaries. View each interaction, and each new social setting as a unique challenge, opportunity and adventure to meet new and wonderful people — who knows who you’ll meet, what you’ll learn, and what good could come to a stranger’s life thanks to your friendly smile.

2. RELAX, GET COMFORTABLE

“Warmth. Getting relaxed as possible prior.” playwithamy, on Twitter

Outside of using social media to get yourself more familiar with people who will be in attendance at upcoming networking and social events, you can even visit the venue itself to get familiar with the “lay of the land.” I don’t know about you, but I get all sorts of flustered when I get lost heading to a new venue or struggle to find parking for my car (or, in Boston where I’m currently living, figuring there’s a good chance of getting ticketed and/or towed!).

Watch a funny movie or TV show ahead of time, too.

Your happy, smiling, fun-loving state will carry over into the event and help you radiate with attractive, positive energy and invite new people to approach you for conversation.

3. SET SIMPLE GOALS

“Speak to one stranger per day! Trust and embrace the unknown!” outwardnick, on Twitter

Focus on setting simple goals. Meeting one new person every day — or even just one person in any social setting — helps to build your confidence, gather forward momentum and create a sensation of steady growth within you.

You can meet just one stranger per day, can’t you? :)

4. GET HELP FROM YOUR (OUTGOING) FRIENDS

“I think having at least one very extroverted friend helps. When I’m with mine, you’d never know how shy and introverted I am.” aprilsmithma, on Twitter

This is an awesome bit of advice. Who are your most outgoing, social friends? You can “ride their coat-tails” and tag along with them to events you might not otherwise feel comfortable attending, and begin meeting new people through their naturally extroverted personality.

Don’t feel intimidated by your friend if he or she woos the room and you feel like you’ve taken a back seat or are hiding in the shadows. Remain confident and smiling. You can even ask your friend outright for help meeting people — they will happily oblige.

I use this strategy myself!

5. EMBRACE THE NERVES

“Be scared, uncomfortable, and do it anyway. Stretch boundaries slowly, desensitize one awkward situation at a time! :)” jwitcraft, on Twitter

You’re nervous? Good. You’re alive.

Like any skill, socializing takes practice. I’ve gotten better and better at it over time, and in spite of your nerves, stretching your boundaries step-by-step will help you grow to become pretty good at witty banter and that typical back-and-forth of conversations when meeting new people.

6. MAKE IT ABOUT THEM, NOT YOU

“Focus on the other person. Asking ppl about themselves & being interested makes them think you’re a great conversationalist. :D” cordeliacallsit, on Twitter

I personally LOVE this tip. In any uncomfortable situation, an introvert’s best strategy is to simply take the attention off yourself by asking questions, becoming invested in the words the other person is saying, and deeply listening to their stories.

Take the attention off of yourself by making your interaction with someone about them and not you, and you won’t feel like you’re buckling under the pressure of “putting on a show.”

This technique will also make you feel more comfortable to open up yourself and get familiarized with the group of people with whom you’re spending time.

7. DROP THE ‘INTROVERT’ LABEL ALTOGETHER!

This tip is my own!

Personally, I’m really not sure when I “finally” realized I was an introverted personality. But if the decision was an “either/or” between introvert and extrovert, it’s not like I had much of a choice, anyway!

I’m not sure that it makes any sense to completely reduce our deeply complex personalities to such a black-or-white, introvert or extrovert, one-or-the-other label: one that ingrains an idea within our own minds of our personal skills, talents, abilities, and — equally as powerful — our perceived limitations.

Truly, each of our individual personalities (combined with our unique living experiences) should remind us that each of our personalities represent one of “one million-shades of gray.”

Just drop the “introvert” label and remind yourself that every person is really in the same boat as a human being looking to share those same unique and special human connections with others.

After all, that’s what life is really about.

Summer school isn't a walk in the park!

The irony is of course, is that summer school is anything but relaxing.

If your teen is about to embark on Summer School or a summer course, they may be about to have this realisation.

The whole point of summer school is to cram in a lot of work into a small amount of time. This will mean your teen won’t have the luxury of procrastinating nearly as much as they might do during the normal school year.

If this is something you believe your teen might find a problem, here are a few things you can do to help them squash their summer school procrastination.

1. Make sure they’re prepared for the intense workload before their courses start.

Forewarned is forearmed. Many summer school students don’t realise they don’t have the luxury of excess time until their half way through. And by this stage it can be very overwhelming to get back on top of things.

We suggest that you have a chat with your teen before they get started to make sure they realize what the work load is going to be like. They’re going to have to start with a hiss and a roar and won’t be able to take their foot off the gas.

2. Help them prepare a timetable for Summer School before it starts.

Working to a timetable is something that we advocate during the normal school year, and particularly when exams are looming.

Having a weekly timetable – and more importantly sticking to it – is possibly going to be even more important for your teen’s success at summer school.

It’s really simple – having a timetable makes students much more likely to stick to a regular study schedule. And this is obviously a pivotal part of doing well at summer school, because again, your teen doesn’t have any time to waste.

Your teen should plan out their weeks – noting down specific times when they’re going to study for a particular subject, complete assignments, and prepare for their exams.

3. Help them keep their spirits up!

From what we’ve described here about summer school, anyone who didn’t know better might think we’ve described a setting of boot camp!

As it would be with boot camp (not that we’d know), striking success at summer school will ultimately come down to how well your teen can find the balance of working really hard, without burning out.

Summer school can be really intense and really stressful, and stress isn’t something you want your teen to feel for the entire duration. It’s counterproductive.

But you can help them keep things in perspective when they’re freaking out, suggest fun or stress-reducing things they can do in their down time so they don’t go insane.

Plus, it’s important that you’ll just be there for general help and support. If your teen wants to ace their summer school exams, they’re going to need it!

 

Overall your teen should probably be looking at summer school as a trade off – it’s a lot of work and it’s pretty intense – but they will come out having done something really great and have gotten extra credits towards their academic career.

The trick to the success is simply to be organised, efficient, and to stay positive about it.

And with your help – they will be able to do these things much more effectively.

If you spend any time trying the usual networking strategies, then you’ll probably notice that most of them seem insincere at best. It always feels like you’re fighting between your own agenda and the best interests of your new “friends.”

That said, networking is perhaps the single best way to achieve success.

So how do you achieve the goal of advancing your career and expanding your professional network without using people? Here are 7 tips that should help.

1. Choose the best channel for you.

Too often, we spread ourselves too thin by setting up accounts on social media sites, going to networking mixers, cold-calling potential clients, asking interesting people out to lunch and so on. For most of us, this all-out pursuit leads to burnout instead of results. Rather than trying to be everywhere at once, decide which area should receive your attention first. Choosing to focus on one mode of communication makes it easier to give your new contacts your full attention … which is exactly what they deserve.

2. It’s about listening to what people say, not saying the right things.

Take a bit of the pressure off of yourself. You don’t need to say the exact right words at the exact right time. Networking is more about taking the time to listen to people’s stories and looking for the places that you can provide something of value to them. it is crucial to understand where people are coming from and what’s important to them. That way, you’ll be able to help them out in the future.

3. You don’t need to know the most people, just the right people.

Stop firing your business cards to everyone you meet and blasting emails out to anyone that looks interesting. It’s much more beneficial to have 10 people that would help you at any time than it is to have 100 that recognize your name. Spend some time finding people that are relevant to you and then pursue the relationships that seem to have a genuine connection.

4. The other side doesn’t “owe” you anything.

Just because you reached out and said hello doesn’t mean that the other person is required to help you. Instead of approaching networking with the hope of gaining favors, try reaching out with curiosity. Contact interesting and relevant people and see what happens. Figure out what makes them unique. See if there is a way you can help them. And if you do help them, don’t expect anything in return.

5. Every person matters.

Please don’t make the mistake of categorizing networking opportunities by status, position, or other superficial metrics. People advance in their careers. People change jobs and industries. Furthermore, you literally have no idea who knows who. That fast food worker could have a cousin that works on Capitol Hill. Treat everyone with respect and don’t dismiss anyone as irrelevant.

6. Offer praise when you reach out over email.

Unless you have a mutual contact that is putting you in touch for a specific reason, it’s best to avoid asking for anything when you make that first contact. Did they win an award or did their company do well last quarter? Send a quick note of congratulations. Over email it’s especially important that you offer a little praise before delving deeper. If they reply to your first email, then you can move on to asking for advice or setting up a date for lunch.

7. Show your current network some love.

Networking isn’t just about reaching out to new people. A huge part of it is nurturing your current network of friends, co-workers, and peers. You can start helping these people today because you already know what they are interested in. Network with the people that are already close by sending helpful information and connecting them with other interesting people you already know.

These steps aren’t difficult, but the do require you to take action.

There aren’t any secret sayings that will turn you into a world-class networker. Simply, begin reaching out and helping others however you can. If you’re looking for more, then I’ve put together an even longer list of networking tips.

Blogging isn’t something that only the nerdy types or teens do anymore, and it most certainly goes beyond posting pictures of your children (or pets for the childless out there) and griping about your job.  Blogging is, for some, a business or a source of extra spending money.  It’s also a source of money, power, and satisfaction.  But as it goes in professional sports, there are millions playing in the neighborhood little leagues, but a very small minority will ever make it to the big leagues.  So how do you improve your chances of taking your blog from beyond just a hobby into something that you add to your resume and turn into cash?

1. Be prepared to pour in your blood, sweat and tears.

Very rarely does a blog go from a readership consisting of your family, friends, co-workers, and admirers (or enemies)  that have figured out how to stalk you online, to an overnight success.  Sure, if you break a big story and CNN picks it up and gives you a shout-out, you might get an instant influx of visitors, but the chances of that happening are slim.  So instead of banking on a miracle, be prepared to slave away at it for a bit.  Know that you will at times doubt yourself and your ability to go on, that you will have to force yourself to blog when you really don’t feel like it.  Be prepared, perhaps, not to know what “free time” is anymore.  This may not be true in all cases, but for someone like me that runs a news oriented blog, it’s a 24/7 operation.  A blog focusing on, say, technology might not have to be so vigilant in covering breaking news.

2. Before you start blogging, think about what you will be blogging about.

My interests are so varied that I couldn’t pick just one topic to blog about, and I knew I’d probably get bored writing about the same thing day after day, week after week, year after year. That being said, if you want to establish yourself as an expert in a field or topic area, then a more focused blog will be most suitable.

3. Avoid free blog services.

Resist the temptation to start with a free blog on Blogger, WordPress or any of the other free, hosted blogging services.  You will kick yourself later, trust me.  If you’re serious about taking your blog beyond a recreational activity, do yourself a favor and buy a domain and web hosting.  You can start with something as simple and cheap as GoDaddy, and move as your site grows. I started out with shared hosting, and since then I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been kicked off hosts due to my site’s growth and resource usage.  These days, we have our own server.

4. If you use a premade template, at least customize some parts of it.

A unique design will make your blog more memorable.  If you do use a premade template that thousands of other people have also installed on their blog, which I have nothing against, try to customize it at least a little bit.  At the very least, pay someone $50 to make you a nice logo.

5. Consider a collaborative effort.

You’ll have to share the profits, but sometimes two (or three or four…)  is better than one.  It takes some pressure off of you as you’re not the sole blogger, and if you need to step away for a few days, there’s someone else to cover for you.  Just choose your partner or partners wisely, and strongly consider getting your partnership arrangement in writing, just in case things sour one day.

6. Socialize and network with others.

Join Twitter and Facebook and start a conversation with your readers.  Make sure to reply to comments on your blog.  By talking with your readers, you’ll keep them checking back in and you’ll be at the forefront of their minds, making them more likely to become a repeat visitor.  Repeat visitors are very important in establishing your blog.  Fly-by traffic is still worthwhile, but building a loyal readership base is crucial.  Making friends with other bloggers and website owners can also be beneficial as they can help drive traffic your way.

It’s not as easy as it looks or sounds.

Many have tried and failed. It can be done, and it doesn’t take a huge advertising budget, a staff of writers, or luck.  However, it does take some degree of talent (if you are a horrible writer, I’d advise against pouring your heart into making a career of blogging) and a whole lot of dedication and drive. Having a plan also helps, although if you don’t have one you can still become successful, it just might take you longer as you figure things out along the way.  I’ve been doing this for years now, and I’ve learned a lot along the way.

In Part 2 – Mistakes to Avoid of this multi-part series on becoming a blogging success I’ll talk about what NOT to do, and how to avoid some of the pitfalls.

I joined Facebook in 2005.  I can’t dig up the initial registration email, but I know this because this was the last time that I had access to my college email, which was required to be a member of the social networking site at the time.  At first, it seemed like just another MySpace type site, although with a much cleaner interface and the ability to connect with classmates. If you watched the movie “The Social Network” or are in tune with current culture, then you probably know the jist of the Facebook story and how it’s grown, so I won’t bore you with the details.  These days, if you’re in business, have made a name for yourself or want to make a name for yourself, you need to be on Facebook. Why? Let me explain.

Back in the 1980s and even the 1990s, if your business wasn’t listed in the phonebook, you had to rely on word of mouth to be discovered by potential new customers.  Then along came the internet and slowly businesses started putting up websites.  It was great because you could put a lot more information on a website than you could in a small add in the Yellow Pages.  With the internet well established now, most businesses do have some kind of web presence.  If you don’t, you’re losing out on a lot of potential business. It’s like the phonebook of yesteryear – you need to be on it.

Now, in the past few years, social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter have grown into something more than just a place to connect with old friends or classmates.  It’s now a way to give your business a public face to interact with the world and your customers.   If you’re not on Facebook, you’re missing out on potential customers. The same goes for Twitter.

As a consumer, I’ve found both Facebook and Twitter to be excellent ways to interact with companies.  Instead of calling customer service and then being put on hold forever, only to be connected with someone who can barely speak English, I can post a message on their Facebook wall or send them a message.  If I really want quick action, I’ll @ reply them on Twitter. Companies are a lot more responsive, especially if you have a complaint, if it’s out there for the whole word to see.

But it’s not just lodging complaints that Facebook and Twitter are good for.  Since Facebook and Twitter are sites that people visit every day, you can use your account to constantly put out information about your company and to interact.  This will keep your company fresh in their mind, more often than if you just had a website because they’d only visit it when they need to.  Social media is like commercials on television for a business; you can get your info on the streams of hundreds, thousands, and even millions of people easily and for free.

Don’t own a business?  It’s still a good idea to be involved.  Whether you’re an entreprenuer, a freelancer, or a working stiff, you’ll find benefits to utilizing social media.  As a business and website owner, I can’t even begin to tell you how many contacts I have made through social media.  It’s gotten me interviews with people, press passes to concerts, PR contacts, media contacts, new writers, and so much more.  If I did not have a social media presence and if my business did not have a social media presence, I can’t imagine where we would be today.  As a freelance writer, I’ve also utilized social media to promote myself and gain contacts, and it also gives people who read  some of my work to interact with me personally.

If you’re in the market for a new job, you know how important connections are.  Networking, networking, networking is key.  While it probably helps more to know someone in “real life”, you can still make connections online that could help you now or in the future.

If you are one of the social networking holdouts, it’s time to reconsider.  If security is your concern, rest assured that if someone really wanted to find where you live, they could do so easily without having to look you up on Facebook. You’re missing out on opportunities by not giving you or your business a public face on these social networking sites. Just try to refrain from posting photos of drunken revelry or other questionable images that could land you in some hot water.

That being said, make sure to join Lifehack.org on Facebook and/or follow us on Twitter.  There are some exciting things coming soon!

We’ve all heard how frightened nearly everyone is of public speaking. Maybe that’s understandable, but it creates the potential for lots of misinformed conventional wisdom spread by people who have to make presentations but haven’t had the opportunity to learn what really works.

To help correct some misperceptions about what creates better presenters and presentations, here are eleven public speaking paradoxes for reluctant presenters to accept, embrace, and follow:

1. Minimize your public speaking nerves by looking for as big an audience as possible.

My theory on nerves and speaking? We all have a certain amount of nerves getting up in front of a crowd: the more people in the audience, the smaller the amount of your nervousness each audience member has to absorb. The theory may sound silly, but with more people in the audience, there’s a greater likelihood of spotting individuals who get your message and show it in their eyes – always a comforting sign for a speaker. The more people, the more likely someone will find your jokes funny and start laughing or be moved by your remarks and start applauding (and trust me, it takes somebody being the first to applaud). These nerve-settlers all benefit from having a bigger crowd.

2. If you’re concerned about forgetting what you’ll say, take all the words off your slides.

The typical crutch to avoid forgetting your presentation is to put every word on your slides so you can turn around and read them aloud – which always makes for a deadly presentation. Putting everything on-screen also allows the audience to stop paying attention to you since they can more efficiently read your slides themselves. With only images (or at least very few words) displayed, however, if you forget your remarks or cover something different from what was originally written, nobody knows because the audience has no visual reference to spot the variation. You enjoy all kinds of freedom to change up what you say and how you say it, making it much easier to cover your forgetful moments.

3. To compare more favorably to the great motivational speaker on the agenda, ask to speak right after them.

Unsure speakers try valiantly to stay as far away as possible on the agenda from exciting speakers because they think they’ll seem worse by immediately following a keynoter. That’s simply a bad strategy. There’s invariably a buzz among the audience after an exciting, engaging speaker, and it’s wonderful to bask in it as the agenda’s next presenter. Not only do you get a free pass to lunch off the audience love the previous speaker created, you can always refer back to a point your predecessor made to refresh the audience’s glow while you’re onstage.

4. To satisfy audience requests for presentation materials, refuse to provide slide print outs.

Handing out your slides before the presentation creates a distraction as audience members are tempted to look at them and ignore you. Plus if you’ve taken the advice to primarily use graphics on your slides, having them won’t be of much learning value anyway. Instead, write an article with your presentation’s key points and invite the audience to visit your blog to review it. If you don’t have a blog, write your presentation summary to share with the event organizer for its blog or website. You’ll expand your reach, providing both your in-person audience and others interested in your topic the opportunity to learn from what you have to say.

5. When you want the whole presenting experience to just be over as quickly as possible, show up way early and make a day of it.

One of the best things you can do as a nervous presenter is to arrive early since it provides several advantages. You can see where you’ll be speaking, determine where to stand, and figure out solutions to challenges the equipment or conference venue create. You’ll also be able to arrange the setup so your computer will be in front of you – serving as a monitor – eliminating the tendency to turn away from the audience to see what’s on the screen. Being there early allows you to meet and interact with audience members, learning what interests them. Finally, you can watch other presenters so you can amplify or avoid points they’ve made, as appropriate. All these benefits will help make your presenting time seem to pass much more quickly.

6. If answering questions makes you nervous, encourage lots of them.

Questions are a giant opportunity to customize your content to what’s most relevant to the audience. They also provide a chance to catch your breath and drink some water as you turn the attention over to the audience momentarily. To get questions started, plant a few with people you’ve met before the talk so you begin with ones you are ready to address.  Plus always remember: if you’re stumped for an answer, ask other audience members to share their perspectives on the challenging question.

7. If you have a really loud voice, demand a microphone.

So many people, especially self-conscious men, try to avoid using microphones because they talk loud. Use the microphone. With a microphone, you can speak at your normal volume while also raising and lowering your voice as you’d like to create continued interest in what you’re saying and how you’re delivering the message.

8. Stand up while you present on a conference call or webinar because no one can see you.

Suppose you’re doing a webinar or other phone-based presentation. The natural tendency is to sit at your desk since the audience isn’t watching. True, but the wrong move nonetheless. Standing up and “presenting” your comments gives your voice more energy, which translates to a better phone-based talk. Bonus tip: don’t speak in the same volume you normally would for a phone conversation. Instead, over-emote since the phone dampens your delivery style. Delivering your message in this manner creates a much more engaging audience experience.

9. Since presentation mistakes are embarrassing when they’re noticed, point them out and have fun with them.

Some speaking mistakes are small and go unnoticed. Others (the computer or projector fails, a video doesn’t play) are apparent to the audience. Rather than dreading them, here are two things to do. First, anticipate what might go wrong and have a funny (ideally self-deprecating) comment to share for each one. Secondly, have a backup plan for each of the potential disasters. When you handle presentation adversity with a laugh and a quick recovery, you’ll win an audience over even faster than by delivering a seamless speech.

10. If you don’t like the sound of your voice, record it and listen to it over and over.

The single best investment I’ve made as a speaker has been a digital audio recorder to capture every presentation I do. While it can be tough to listen to yourself if you’re uncomfortable speaking, the gaffes you’ll hear quickly pinpoint areas to improve your skills. Another advantage? Next time you’re speaking on the same topic, you can review your previous presentation while rehearsing to remind yourself of what parts worked best and effective ad-libs that weren’t planned in your original remarks.

11. Deal with your anxieties about audience reactions by rewarding them for immediately sharing opinions.

While most conferences survey attendees, it’s often weeks later, and speakers frequently never receive results. That’s why the second best investment you can make in becoming a better presenter is creating your own simple evaluation form. Offer audience members a chance to win a book or give-away relevant to your presentation for sharing one thing they liked, didn’t like, found interesting, and would recommend about your talk. These four points from each presentation provide incredible feedback and reactions you never could have anticipated. The total cost of the books I’ve given away has paled in comparison to the improvement opportunities this strategy has yielded – especially from things people didn’t like.

There you have it. If you don’t enjoy speaking, these eleven paradoxes may seem very unnatural, but using them to your advantage will allow you to make dramatic improvements in your abilities as a public communicator!

Mike Brown leads The Brainzooming Group, helping organizations succeed more rapidly by expanding their strategic options and efficiently implementing innovative plans. He authors the Brainzooming™ blog, shares innovation ideas on Twitter, and wrote the ebook “Taking the NO Out of InNOvation.” He's also a frequent keynote presenter.

Share This

My mother often said, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. My father would quickly add, “then sell the lemonade at a fair price for a proft”. It sounded like a good way to live until I grew older and realized how many lemons there really are in the world.

Advancing technology has made it easier than ever to find life’s lemons. Newspapers, radio, tv, the internet, and close-to-real-time services like Twitter allow us to fill every waking moment with lemons.

So why is it that we often insist on spending the conversations we have with those around us on negative things? Why do we choose sour remarks and biting tones when we could stir in some positive remarks and make some smiles? Don’t we all have enough lemons to make our daily lemonade without seeking them out?

5 ways to spread positivity

1. Practice pleasantries – A non-grouchy “good morning” to coworkers or adding “I really appreciate it” to required “thank you’s” are good steps away from negativity.
2. Share some positivity – Find a good story each day and share it with at least three people. As you become known for being a source of good conversations and uplifting news, don’t be surprised if people flock to you!
3. Save the lemon for later – When something is bothering you, don’t obsess and let your concern spill over into your conversations. Instead, take a moment to write down your next move to improve and put it in a safe place. Come back to your “lemon” when you are able to commit your entire focus on promoting a solution.
4. Slow down your response time - In our jiffy pop society, it’s easy to get caught up in trying to respond immediately. There’s a reason “promptly” and “instantly” are defined separately in the dictionary. One implies the care while the other is only about speed. Making an effort to produce thoughtful responses even if it means simply breathing fully before speaking, will work wonders for the quality of your conversations. Eliminating the lemons will also help avoid tension caused by a thoughtless response.
5. Learn to laugh with others - A joke or situation doesn’t have to be enormously funny in order for you to take joy in it. Instead of shrugging off the next joke your friend tells or trying to top a story, laugh. You may soon find that your sense of humor has expanded to find a smile in things you would have frowned at previously.

Being aware of the lemon in your mouth is a constant project. It’s easy to slip into negative conversations. When you begin to taste the bitter citrus, you’ll know it’s time for some positivity!

If you heard some good news today or have a funny or uplifting story to share, please do so below!

Image: Konstantina

I'm an editor here at Stepcase Lifehack. I know the value of long walks, good books, joyful repartee, and a well-made martini. Say hello in the comments here, find me on my blog or hit me up for a follow on Twitter.

Share This