As an alternative to posting the hackneyed advice of self-proclaimed life coaches and storytellers (e.g. Tony Robbins, Tim Ferriss, etc…), I thought I’d collect and share advice from real people in the mySomeday community that achieved real goals.  In the past, they admitted to having issues with finishing what they started.  ”So, what was different this time?”, I asked.  Although they all agreed that building a detailed step-by-step Plan was essential, each had a unique aspect to that Plan that kept them motivated.  Here are their tips.

1.  Break It Down

Maia was determined to get out of credit card debt but was daunted and occasionally paralyzed by the enormity of the goal.  She decided to break down the path into clear, achievable steps and discovered that checking off smaller to-dos generated real momentum.  These small flashes of progress kept her head in the game and allowed her to continue to believe that the goal would someday be reality.  Maia is convinced that taking the time to break down the path into incremental steps made the difference for her.

2.  Picture It

Globehound turned 40 and decided it was time to go back to the future and get back in shape.  To stay motivated, he strategically placed unflattering pictures of himself in various places next to images of people he’d like to emulate.  This ‘in your face’ approach worked wonders.  Whenever he felt lazy or was eyeing that bag of Doritos, he’d take a quick look at the pictures and the urge was squashed.  Now that he’s back in shape, he posted before and after pictures of himself as a constant reminder of a place he does not wish to return.  Globehound was adamant, this visual anchor located in a prominent place had a profound impact on his ability to stick to his plan.

3.  Broadcast It

Christine wanted to change careers.  She knew it for a long time but it wasn’t until she shared this goal with friends and family that she started to make real strides.  Knowing that others were watching and rooting for her proved to be just the motivation she needed to continue to check off steps in her plan.  She used the ‘Share’ option on the  Someday page and broadcast her intentions to her Facebook Wall.  It profoundly affected the accountability factor by adding social pressure and expectations to the mix and Christine says it was just what she needed to make the move from consulting to fashion.

4.  Make It About Something Bigger Than You

A4S4L4 had run a half-marathon before but she was feeling a bit unmotivated this time around.  Someone suggested that she make someone else the beneficiary of her efforts.  She built a plan to run a half-marathon and included a charitable partner.   Knowing that her efforts would do good beyond personal satisfaction gave her a real sense of necessity.   If she was in a rut, she would visit the charity’s website and suddenly her laziness felt insignificant.   She claimed that adding this one element shifted her entire perspective and gave her massive amounts of motivation.

Got any stories or motivational tips?  Please share.  We’re always looking to incorporate new elements into our site to increase the motivation and accountability factors.

The quickest way to living a life you love is through learning to love the life you live.

You’re waiting for something to change in your life before you can be happy. You might think if only you had a different partner (or one at all), a better job, or kids that did their homework then surely you’d be happy. Surely then you’d wake each morning with the glow of one living a life worth loving. Enough! Here are 7 ways to get started:

1. Be present – You must be aware of your current existence and that you have control over your perspective. Whether you’re willing away early morning grouchiness or seeing a messy house as a chance to teach teamwork, your choice of perspective will make all the difference between just living and loving.

2. Practice gratefulness – Every day, no excuses. Pretend to be grateful if you must. It’s one of those things that catches up to you quickly as life reciprocates your emotional generosity. Seeing the good in your life will allow you to keep your heart fed while you work to change the more unsavory parts. Try it. Live it. You’ll love it.

3. Pursue balance - As a person given to extremes this has always been a tough one for me. I’ll go from taking great care of myself and communicating well to abandonment and silence as I let work consume me. The pursuit of balance requires constant adjustment as your life shifts but every time I really try for the middle I end up happier about my life. And that’s truly the point.

4. Nurture friendships – You know the people who for some reason or other welcome you into their lives? Treasure them. Make time to spend with them. It is those relationships that you’ll look back on with satisfaction when you get old and begin to wonder what your life was worth. Many of us spend far too much time thinking about how some material possession will improve our lives. An iMac would be nice. A good friend is worth just about everything though!

5. Embrace simplicity –  You don’t need to have all your gold-plated ducks in a row in order to love the life you’re living. You don’t need lots of stuff and relationships so driven by drama that you often wish just to be left alone in silence. Instead you might try for a simpler approach and enjoy things because they are useful and not because they are expensive. You might join a friend just to talk and not worry about all the expensive trappings we so often heap on get-together’s. Try for simplicity and if complexity sneaks up on you, so be it. In learning to love the basics you’ll find a wondrous appreciation for the nicer things that come along.

What have you found helps bring you back to the moment you’re in and really start to enjoy the life you’re living right now?

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Greetings, loved ones! I'm the founding editor of Real Zest and spend far too much time asking questions on Twitter. Say hello and stay blessed!

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Would you like to be happier? I’ve gathered 7 tips you can put into practice immediately for more happiness in your life. The trick is to take what you believe will work for you right now, put it into practice, and build on your successes. You needn’t always be grins but I’m hopeful that you’ll get a few more with the following insights. Enjoy!

1. Listen to your inner child

I wonder sometimes what would happen if we all pursued the art of being a goofball. If both sides of a debate dropped their pickets and traded knock-knock jokes instead, what would change? Would we see each other differently? As opportunities, rather than problems? Read more.

2. Be grateful for something every day

One benefit of being grateful and expressing your appreciation to others is the reciprocal nature of such things. The natural response to somebody saying, “thank you” or “wow, I really appreciate you” is the discovery of reasons to respond in-kind. If you’re constantly finding things to be grateful for and sharing your discoveries with others, be assured that they’ll begin to notice things you do and express their gratefulness to you before long!

3. Let some plans go

Giving up goals works in any area of your life. Take health and fitness: I used to have specific fitness goals, from losing weight or body fat to running a marathon to increasing my squat. Not anymore: now I just do it because I love it, and I have no idea where that will take me. It works brilliantly, because I always enjoy myself. Read more.

4. Reduce your exposure to negative media

If information isn’t helping you make decisions and only makes you feel miserable, why are you consuming it? Surrounding yourself with celebrity magazines and television shows featuring spoiled rich kids can fuel that urge to compare. Read more

5. Learn to say “NO!”

At the end of the day, it’s about how you say “no”, rather than the fact you’re saying no, that affects the outcome. After all, you have your own priorities and needs, just like everyone has his/her own needs. Saying no is about respecting and valuing your time and space. Say no is your prerogative. Read more.

6. Nurture happiness where you find it

Be grateful for your joy, every day. Be in the moment with that activity, instead of having your mind drift elsewhere. Refresh your joy often, by starting over or approaching things from a new angle or doing something a bit differently. Find new people to share this joy with, people who love it as much as you. Read more.

7. Get and stay organized

The National Association of Professional Organizers estimates that a huge percentage of work days are lost to people looking for things they have misplaced.  Disorganization is the enemy of productivity, and it may even fuel procrastination.  A few minutes spent every night organizing papers, assignments, long-term deadlines and goals can pay off handsomely in higher well-being and accomplishments. Read more.

What have you found makes you happier? I’d love to know!

Image: Martin Neuhof

Greetings, loved ones! I'm the founding editor of Real Zest and spend far too much time asking questions on Twitter. Say hello and stay blessed!

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What’s something you’re thankful for?

In the US and Canada we have an annual “Thanksgiving” day when everybody gets together and pretends to forget what they’re mad about.

Let’s make TODAY a real day of Thanksgiving! I am thankful for all the opportunities I’ve had to do good work and meet amazing people this year.

What’s something you’re thankful for?  Click Here to join the conversation!

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I'm an editor here at Stepcase Lifehack. I know the value of long walks, good books, joyful repartee, and a well-made martini. Say hello in the comments here, find me on my blog or hit me up for a follow on Twitter.

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Have you ever seen a small child go down to a pond and throw rocks into it? Kids can do that for hours, partly because the big splashes are a sign of their impact. They are the ones causing all the commotion!

How does throwing rocks into a pond relate to what happens at home? If your little child can get big ‘ol you all upset, your upset is the big splash for her. Your upset makes your child feel powerful. Now, don’t get me wrong, her reacting this way does not mean she hasn’t a conscience and will grow up to be a criminal. It’s just a normal childhood feeling: Having all that power temporarily rewards – or feels good to – the inferior part of the child.

Parents I coach who tell me, “It drives me absolutely crazy when she eats her dinner with her fingers! Why does she do that?” have already answered their own question. She may do that because …it drives them crazy.

An important rule, then, is this: If you have a child who is doing something you don’t like, get real upset about it on a regular basis and, sure enough, she’ll repeat if for you.

When it comes to discipline, you want to be clear, concise, and calm. So, what I recommend is that you apply my “Less Talking, Less Emotion” Rule. This point is critical to your effectiveness.

For some parents, turning off the talking and emotion is as easy as turning off a faucet, however for others, they have to bite their lips to get the job done. Have you ever seen that T-Shirt that reads, “Help me. I’m talking and I can’t stop!”?

What else can help? Learning a simple, effective method of discipline that doesn’t involve a lot of talking or emotion. The more you can fall back on a system the better; you’ll be less likely to fall into the same old “talking” rut again and instead, just follow the step-by-step statements.

Get started with a solid system.

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Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life. You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at ErinParenting.com.

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We’ve all heard how frightened nearly everyone is of public speaking. Maybe that’s understandable, but it creates the potential for lots of misinformed conventional wisdom spread by people who have to make presentations but haven’t had the opportunity to learn what really works.

To help correct some misperceptions about what creates better presenters and presentations, here are eleven public speaking paradoxes for reluctant presenters to accept, embrace, and follow:

1. Minimize your public speaking nerves by looking for as big an audience as possible.

My theory on nerves and speaking? We all have a certain amount of nerves getting up in front of a crowd: the more people in the audience, the smaller the amount of your nervousness each audience member has to absorb. The theory may sound silly, but with more people in the audience, there’s a greater likelihood of spotting individuals who get your message and show it in their eyes – always a comforting sign for a speaker. The more people, the more likely someone will find your jokes funny and start laughing or be moved by your remarks and start applauding (and trust me, it takes somebody being the first to applaud). These nerve-settlers all benefit from having a bigger crowd.

2. If you’re concerned about forgetting what you’ll say, take all the words off your slides.

The typical crutch to avoid forgetting your presentation is to put every word on your slides so you can turn around and read them aloud – which always makes for a deadly presentation. Putting everything on-screen also allows the audience to stop paying attention to you since they can more efficiently read your slides themselves. With only images (or at least very few words) displayed, however, if you forget your remarks or cover something different from what was originally written, nobody knows because the audience has no visual reference to spot the variation. You enjoy all kinds of freedom to change up what you say and how you say it, making it much easier to cover your forgetful moments.

3. To compare more favorably to the great motivational speaker on the agenda, ask to speak right after them.

Unsure speakers try valiantly to stay as far away as possible on the agenda from exciting speakers because they think they’ll seem worse by immediately following a keynoter. That’s simply a bad strategy. There’s invariably a buzz among the audience after an exciting, engaging speaker, and it’s wonderful to bask in it as the agenda’s next presenter. Not only do you get a free pass to lunch off the audience love the previous speaker created, you can always refer back to a point your predecessor made to refresh the audience’s glow while you’re onstage.

4. To satisfy audience requests for presentation materials, refuse to provide slide print outs.

Handing out your slides before the presentation creates a distraction as audience members are tempted to look at them and ignore you. Plus if you’ve taken the advice to primarily use graphics on your slides, having them won’t be of much learning value anyway. Instead, write an article with your presentation’s key points and invite the audience to visit your blog to review it. If you don’t have a blog, write your presentation summary to share with the event organizer for its blog or website. You’ll expand your reach, providing both your in-person audience and others interested in your topic the opportunity to learn from what you have to say.

5. When you want the whole presenting experience to just be over as quickly as possible, show up way early and make a day of it.

One of the best things you can do as a nervous presenter is to arrive early since it provides several advantages. You can see where you’ll be speaking, determine where to stand, and figure out solutions to challenges the equipment or conference venue create. You’ll also be able to arrange the setup so your computer will be in front of you – serving as a monitor – eliminating the tendency to turn away from the audience to see what’s on the screen. Being there early allows you to meet and interact with audience members, learning what interests them. Finally, you can watch other presenters so you can amplify or avoid points they’ve made, as appropriate. All these benefits will help make your presenting time seem to pass much more quickly.

6. If answering questions makes you nervous, encourage lots of them.

Questions are a giant opportunity to customize your content to what’s most relevant to the audience. They also provide a chance to catch your breath and drink some water as you turn the attention over to the audience momentarily. To get questions started, plant a few with people you’ve met before the talk so you begin with ones you are ready to address.  Plus always remember: if you’re stumped for an answer, ask other audience members to share their perspectives on the challenging question.

7. If you have a really loud voice, demand a microphone.

So many people, especially self-conscious men, try to avoid using microphones because they talk loud. Use the microphone. With a microphone, you can speak at your normal volume while also raising and lowering your voice as you’d like to create continued interest in what you’re saying and how you’re delivering the message.

8. Stand up while you present on a conference call or webinar because no one can see you.

Suppose you’re doing a webinar or other phone-based presentation. The natural tendency is to sit at your desk since the audience isn’t watching. True, but the wrong move nonetheless. Standing up and “presenting” your comments gives your voice more energy, which translates to a better phone-based talk. Bonus tip: don’t speak in the same volume you normally would for a phone conversation. Instead, over-emote since the phone dampens your delivery style. Delivering your message in this manner creates a much more engaging audience experience.

9. Since presentation mistakes are embarrassing when they’re noticed, point them out and have fun with them.

Some speaking mistakes are small and go unnoticed. Others (the computer or projector fails, a video doesn’t play) are apparent to the audience. Rather than dreading them, here are two things to do. First, anticipate what might go wrong and have a funny (ideally self-deprecating) comment to share for each one. Secondly, have a backup plan for each of the potential disasters. When you handle presentation adversity with a laugh and a quick recovery, you’ll win an audience over even faster than by delivering a seamless speech.

10. If you don’t like the sound of your voice, record it and listen to it over and over.

The single best investment I’ve made as a speaker has been a digital audio recorder to capture every presentation I do. While it can be tough to listen to yourself if you’re uncomfortable speaking, the gaffes you’ll hear quickly pinpoint areas to improve your skills. Another advantage? Next time you’re speaking on the same topic, you can review your previous presentation while rehearsing to remind yourself of what parts worked best and effective ad-libs that weren’t planned in your original remarks.

11. Deal with your anxieties about audience reactions by rewarding them for immediately sharing opinions.

While most conferences survey attendees, it’s often weeks later, and speakers frequently never receive results. That’s why the second best investment you can make in becoming a better presenter is creating your own simple evaluation form. Offer audience members a chance to win a book or give-away relevant to your presentation for sharing one thing they liked, didn’t like, found interesting, and would recommend about your talk. These four points from each presentation provide incredible feedback and reactions you never could have anticipated. The total cost of the books I’ve given away has paled in comparison to the improvement opportunities this strategy has yielded – especially from things people didn’t like.

There you have it. If you don’t enjoy speaking, these eleven paradoxes may seem very unnatural, but using them to your advantage will allow you to make dramatic improvements in your abilities as a public communicator!

Mike Brown leads The Brainzooming Group, helping organizations succeed more rapidly by expanding their strategic options and efficiently implementing innovative plans. He authors the Brainzooming™ blog, shares innovation ideas on Twitter, and wrote the ebook “Taking the NO Out of InNOvation.” He's also a frequent keynote presenter.

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You’re going on a first date with somebody special and you need some ideas of what to do? You’ve come to the right place! When I first started dating, my idea of a date was the stereotypical cheap-dinner-and-a-movie. Don’t hate on me, I didn’t know any better! By the time I finished high school I was pretty comfortable in my own skin and got pretty good at coming up with ideas for dates. I’ve put together a list of some of my favorites as well as some suggested by friends. Enjoy!

I’ve decided to split the list of first date ideas into outdoor, indoor, and “safe.” The last section is especially for those of you going on blind dates who have no idea what you’re getting into! (Been there, done that!)

Outdoor First Date Ideas

1. Go for a walk - This is such a simple first date idea but most shy away from it because they feel like they must do something complex in order for their date to be impressed. Wrong! The only ideas you need to impress your date with are the ones that you articulate as your conversation progresses. If you are an interesting person and have found a fun person to spend time with, rest assured that a walk about town will be just fine. Remember, the idea is to leave your date wanting more.
2. Watch an outdoor movie – Going to a movie is pretty worn out in the world of first date ideas. You can resurrect it in a fun way by going to see a movie outdoors or, even better, at a drive-in movie theater if you still happen to have one near where you live.
3. Create your own picnic – Pick a nice spot near where you’re meeting up and swing by a grocery store or take-out restaurant for some quick eats before setting up camp for food and conversation with your new favorite person. There’s no need to spend a lot of money. Picnics are supposed to be simple and you want it to be about getting to know your date, not truffles wrapped in gold foil!
4. Go boating – The idea of sailing on a first date seems like a recipe for disaster but something milder, like canoeing, row boating, or taking a paddle boat out on a sunny afternoon would work well. Admittedly, the last time I took a girl on a paddle boat for a date we both ended up soaking wet with marsh moss in our hair. It was amazing though!
5. Go for a run together – If running is your idea of a good time, an easy run with a new friend can make for a great date!
6. Volunteer at a soup kitchen – One of the best first dates I’ve ever been on involved meeting up with a woman at 5:30am to serve breakfast at the local soup kitchen. Not only did we get to know each other better but we got to do something worthwhile that helped our community. It’s hard to come up with a reason why giving back to your community could be considered a bad idea for a first date! If you don’t have a soup kitchen or other short-order volunteer opportunity, be creative and come up with your own. There is always somebody nearby who could use some help if we are willing to give it.
7. Get up insanely early and be the first customers at your favorite breakfast joint – You’ll get a chance to chat before the restaurant gets busy and have time to do some people-watching when the regulars start pouring in. Note: If you find somebody who is cool with rolling out of bed early to join you for a breakfast date, it’d be a bad idea to let them get away!

Indoor First Date Ideas

1. Take an intro yoga or other fitness class – If you’re really out of shape, this might not be a great idea for a first date. Otherwise, pick a class that will fit both of your fitness levels and have some fun! You should know that getting hot and sweaty
2. Visit a psychic – Everybody likes to know the future, well, at least a prediction of it!
3. Visit a shut-in – This might not seem like it belongs on a list of first date ideas but if you step away from your preconceptions, I think you might consider it and even try it out. Visiting people who are unable to get out and enjoy regular social interactions isn’t just a worthwhile use of your time. It gives you a chance to learn a bit about the character of your date. Is he or she willing to spend time with people who are in need? If your date is unkind it will only be a matter of time before that unkindness is pointed at you. Seek the good hearts!
4. Play video games – PS2, Nintendo, Xbox, it doesn’t matter. If your date is into video games and you’ve got strong thumbs, it might be time for a bit of virtual smackdown! Just be careful not to beat your date too badly at whatever video game you decide to play. You don’t want your first date ideas to turn into video-game-inspired revenge ideas. =)
5. Take a music lesson together – Have you always wanted to learn how to play the guitar or some other instrument? Inviting a date along for a partner lesson at a local music school might be a fun way to start your lesson and get the much-dreaded first date out of the way.
6. Go to a used bookstore – It can be a new bookstore if you insist. It doesn’t matter! If you and your date enjoy reading and perusing books, hitting up a bookstore on a first date may just end up being one of the ideas that sets you on a quick course to true love.
7. Go gift shopping – Not for each other, but for somebody else. Perhaps you need to pick up a gift for your sister or some other relative and you need some insight into the process? Ask your date to give you some in-motion advice and perhaps even pick up something small for each other. Trinkets only. Save the cars and fur coats for later dates!

“Safe” First Date Ideas

1. Take a cooking class together – Check your local community college or continuing education program for listings of cooking classes you can take if there isn’t a culinary school to be found.
2. Visit a tourist hot spot in your town that neither of you has been to before – Even if you’ve been living in the same place for years, there’s a great chance that you’ll have missed at least a few interesting places in your community. If it turns out that your chosen spot is a dud, get creative and come up with a few quick ideas to finish off your date. Most will give you a lot of slack if little things go wrong. Just keep the conversation interesting and the venue won’t be such a killer.
3. Attend a local film or music festival – It’s a rare individual who won’t enjoy a local festival at least a bit. This is a pretty safe bet for anybody but the most boring of people.
4. Meet up for a drink – This is one of the safest, and therefore one of the most-used first date ideas. You can make things a bit more adventurous by visiting a jazz club or finding a bar that will teach you to make new drinks. Of course, you could always go and grab some bottled water. =)
5. Visit a new restaurant – There’s a bit of risk in eating at a new restaurant because you can’t be sure of the quality but this first date idea still makes the “safe” list because it’s not hugely risky.
6. Eat in – Do you already have great cooking skills? If so, break ‘em out for an early dinner! You might want to check for possible food allergies before you start sharing your iron chef skills though.
7. Phone it in – Oh yeah, the date that consists entirely of talking into a small electronic device. This one is for all you cyber dating pros out there looking for first date ideas like you planned on doing something other than talking on your phone. =) All jokes aside, there are some benefits to phoning in. Sure, you don’t get to see your date’s face while you’re talking, but that also means that you don’t have to get dressed up or worry about what your face looks like. See? Might not be a bad idea.

Have any first date ideas you’d like to add? Leave them in a comment!

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I'm an editor here at Stepcase Lifehack. I know the value of long walks, good books, joyful repartee, and a well-made martini. Say hello in the comments here, find me on my blog or hit me up for a follow on Twitter.

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My mother often said, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. My father would quickly add, “then sell the lemonade at a fair price for a proft”. It sounded like a good way to live until I grew older and realized how many lemons there really are in the world.

Advancing technology has made it easier than ever to find life’s lemons. Newspapers, radio, tv, the internet, and close-to-real-time services like Twitter allow us to fill every waking moment with lemons.

So why is it that we often insist on spending the conversations we have with those around us on negative things? Why do we choose sour remarks and biting tones when we could stir in some positive remarks and make some smiles? Don’t we all have enough lemons to make our daily lemonade without seeking them out?

5 ways to spread positivity

1. Practice pleasantries – A non-grouchy “good morning” to coworkers or adding “I really appreciate it” to required “thank you’s” are good steps away from negativity.
2. Share some positivity – Find a good story each day and share it with at least three people. As you become known for being a source of good conversations and uplifting news, don’t be surprised if people flock to you!
3. Save the lemon for later – When something is bothering you, don’t obsess and let your concern spill over into your conversations. Instead, take a moment to write down your next move to improve and put it in a safe place. Come back to your “lemon” when you are able to commit your entire focus on promoting a solution.
4. Slow down your response time - In our jiffy pop society, it’s easy to get caught up in trying to respond immediately. There’s a reason “promptly” and “instantly” are defined separately in the dictionary. One implies the care while the other is only about speed. Making an effort to produce thoughtful responses even if it means simply breathing fully before speaking, will work wonders for the quality of your conversations. Eliminating the lemons will also help avoid tension caused by a thoughtless response.
5. Learn to laugh with others - A joke or situation doesn’t have to be enormously funny in order for you to take joy in it. Instead of shrugging off the next joke your friend tells or trying to top a story, laugh. You may soon find that your sense of humor has expanded to find a smile in things you would have frowned at previously.

Being aware of the lemon in your mouth is a constant project. It’s easy to slip into negative conversations. When you begin to taste the bitter citrus, you’ll know it’s time for some positivity!

If you heard some good news today or have a funny or uplifting story to share, please do so below!

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I'm an editor here at Stepcase Lifehack. I know the value of long walks, good books, joyful repartee, and a well-made martini. Say hello in the comments here, find me on my blog or hit me up for a follow on Twitter.

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Does the idea of interviewing for a new job put you on edge or scare the living daylights out of you?  Does it make you want to stay under the duvet and hide?

You’re not alone.  There’s a lot riding on landing that job whether you’re currently unemployed or not, particularly in the current climate.  Here are 9 ways to give a naturally confident interview that really allows you to shine.

1. Don’t Over-Prepare

You certainly need to know your stuff before heading into that interview room, but whatever you do, don’t over-prepare.  You need to know your onions (so to speak) as well as having some knowledge about the company’s products, services, market position, opportunities, etc, but preparing answers for every possible question and memorising every fact will drive you crazy and make you ultra-nervous.

Knowing your subject isn’t a case of simply repeating information verbatim, and if you go to an interview planning on spouting facts and figures there’s a risk that you’ll sound too rehearsed or stilted.

Interviewers want to see how well you think on your feet as well as how knowledgeable you are, so leave room to move.  You don’t have to be word perfect, you don’t need to know everything or have a slick answer for every question.  Trust yourself to shoot from the hip.

2. Don’t sweat it

Focusing on the things that make you nervous will only ever give you more drama, and that’s exactly what you don’t need.

Yes, interviews can be nerve-wracking, but it’s okay to be nervous. If you weren’t nervous it would mean you didn’t care, so how about finding a better way for you to care about this?  How about directing that energy in a more useful way to up your game?  How about using that nervous energy to demonstrate your enthusiasm and energy?

Remember, the simple fact that you’ve been invited to interview means that they’re interested in talking to you and think you might be right for the job. That’s a good thing, right?

What difference would it make if you knew that whatever decision they make is just fine, that no matter what happens it’s no reflection on you or your ability? Shifting how you perceive the risks of the interview can feel pretty liberating, allowing you to shine.

3. Blow Your Own Trumpet

You have to blow your own trumpet to show how much you can add to an organization.  Fail to do that effectively and it’s game over.

So get clear on what your strengths are – the skills, talents and experience you’ve applied in the past to get great results.  Get clear on what you’ve achieved and your role in those achievements.  Get clear on how capable you are, and how you want to continue to develop your capability.

That’s the information and evidence they’re looking for.

4. Don’t jump into the first chair you see.

Don’t rush into the room and grab the first chair you see – it’s not a competition.  Let the interviewer find their place first.  If you’re in a meeting room don’t sit next to them on the same side of the table, and don’t automatically sit directly opposite them.  If you can, try to sit diagonally from them – it provides a good space between you but doesn’t act like a wall.

5. Don’t go in just 1 direction

Go down a single track during your interview and talk about one area of skill or experience and it could easily leave a big enough gap in the interviewers’ mind to wonder if you’re the best candidate.  Show a range of skills and experience, and show that you can get on with people as well as tasks.

But going in 1 direction isn’t only about what skills and experience you choose to show and tell, it’s about what you need from the interviewer.

An interview has to be a 2-way street to avoid miscalculations of culture and fit.  It’s a process to see how well you fit in the role and the organization, and if the role and organisation is a good fit for you.  It’s not simply about the interviewer pulling out the information they need to make their decisions, you need to get the information you need to make your decision.

6. Smile

I’ve interviewed a good number of people in my past, and there was always one thing that made a candidate stand out head and shoulders above the rest – the fact that they were enjoying themselves, not just in the interview but generally in their life.

An interviewer doesn’t want a one-dimensional person, and often the personality of the candidate can override any weakness in skill or experience.

So don’t think that you can’t enjoy an interview.  If you look like the interview is torture or if you’re just generally down-beat, you won’t get hired. Simple as. If you’re enjoying and engaging with what you’re doing and where you are, it speaks volumes.

Smile.  (Just not too much that you look like a grinning maniac).

7. Leave your stuff outside

Carrying any uncertainty, doubt or problems into the interview with you will limit your ability to interview well, so put that all to one side before you start.  Picture the interview room as a safe place with people who want you to get the job, and remember that the interviewer wants to see the best of you, not the worst.  They’re on your side.

8.  Don’t let your body talk for you

If your shoulders are hunched, you’re slouched in your seat, you’re wringing your hands, continually scratching your head or if your eyes are darting around the room then your body language will be screaming “Danger!” loud and clear.

Having a relaxed but confident body language communicates a relaxed and confident individual. You’re free to move in your seat and use your hands to demonstrate key points, just watch you’re not waving your arms around like you’re swiping away fruit flies.

Remember eye contact too – it’s about building rapport and connecting with people. Without eye contact there’s no connection, so be sure to look your interviewers in the eye as the interview progresses.  Like everything, there’s a balance to be struck, so don’t stare fixedly at your interviewer like a wired Will Ferrell, this isn’t a Saturday Night Live skit.

9. Embellish and polish

There’s a saying that suggests that an interview is 2 people in a room lying to each other. Some interviews might be like that, but not the ones that end up with a great deal for everyone.  Don’t lie.  It’s like dressing a cow in a duck costume and asking it to quack – it’s not going to fool anyone.

But while you shouldn’t lie there’s nothing wrong with a little polish or embellishment.  Tell them how proud you were of a team achievement.  Don’t cover up a weakness or failing but spin it into an important lesson learned.  Show them how darn excited you were to get involved in a particular project.

This doesn’t mean that you’re misrepresenting yourself, it simply means that you’re selling yourself and giving a great interview.

Steve Errey almost died at age 5 as he choked on a grape. Today, Steve is a leading confidence coach for entrepreneurs and intrapreneurs, with a reputation for talking sense and getting results. Read more at The Confidence Guy and follow him on Twitter. He still loves grapes, despite the risks.

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Do you start every morning with an internal argument over whether or not to hit the snooze button on your alarm clock again? Do you struggle to fall asleep at night and end up catching a “second wind” that lands you on the couch watching TV at 4am? If so, this sleep hack is for you.

Sure the term “hack” has been used a lot. But in terms of simplification of a very complex process into two quick steps, this hack takes a very large cake. Keep reading to see what I mean.

I stumbled upon this sleep hack weeks ago. Like some of the better hacks in existence, this one was unearthed by necessity. I’d reduced my belongings to fit into two carry-on’s (another post entirely) and headed to work in Boston.

I’d only given myself 6 days to find a place to live and it wasn’t until my final day of searching that I finally found an apartment. It was cheap. It had a bed and desk. It was Sunday night. By the time I’d signed a lease it was too late to go shopping for bedding. There was a clean fitted sheet in the bedroom closet that fit the mattress. I had no soft pillows, no 1200 thread count sheets, and no down comforter.

I took the bath towel from my bag, folded it a few times, and used it as a pillow. It was a warm night and I slept easily. I woke in the early morning chill of darkness. It was 5am. I didn’t need to be up for hours.

But I had no reason to stay in bed. Bed was cold. Bed was unwelcoming. I had slept. I was awake. The day had begun.

As days slipped by, I continued to sleep on that fitted sheet and mattress. Each night I’d get tired around 10:30pm, drink some water, and fall asleep immediately. Each morning I’d wake, grab my towel and head to the shower. I no longer had to argue with myself over whether or not I’d get out of bed.

If I woke very early and still felt tired, I might fall back asleep for another hour but only if I really needed it. Those accidental morning naps I’d experienced in the luxury of my previous bed no longer haunted me. I was free.

I now have a regular sleep schedule with better rest than I’ve had in years. I wake on-time without an alarm and enjoy an extra 10-12 hours per week that I’d have spent awake but in bed in years past. It’s really, really good.

So here’s the hack.

Step 1: Treat your bed like a recharging station.

Get rid of the temptation to treat your bed like anything other than a recharging station. You won’t need books by your bed. You won’t need fancy pillows (unless your doctor says you must). Your bed is a place to help you get from wake to wake in as little time as possible with optimum rest. If you’re young like me the mattress won’t be such a big deal. If you’re over 40 you’ll want to make sure you’ve got a good mattress though.

Step 2: Get rid of your bedding

If you’re really, really tough you can just fold all your bedding up and put it in another room. Chances are good that you’ll give up and drag you bedding back in the middle of the night if you can though. I recommend giving your bedding to a local homeless shelter or, if it’s really ratty, throwing it out.

Step 3: Try it for at least 7 days

One night won’t work. You need to give yourself time to get used to this lean way of sleeping. If you wake up at midnight and feel cold, don’t grab a blanket. Throw on a sweatshirt instead. Most of us live in climate controlled housing so there’s really no excuse for all the bedding we tend to heap on ourselves.

Does this sound crazy? Sure. Does it work? Absolutely yes. I love sleeping in a big bed with warm blankets and big pillows. But I don’t need that extra sleep right now. I don’t need the morning arguments with my alarm clock. I need productivity. If you feel the same, I suggest you give this a try.

Have you tried something similar? Do you have a specific question? I’ll get back to you in the comments.

Image: Freddy The Boy

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I'm an editor here at Stepcase Lifehack. I know the value of long walks, good books, joyful repartee, and a well-made martini. Say hello in the comments here, find me on my blog or hit me up for a follow on Twitter.

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